since it’s “close to halloween” this post tends to circle around a lot
admittedly when i made this post i completely neglected to source the music and that’s 100% my fault and was bad of me to do (music needs to be sourced just like any other art does)
here’s the source now, just in case anyone doesn’t know what this is
a new zine called shitty horoscopes that i’ll be premiering this year at the Toronto Queer Zine Fair, among other things! hopefully i’ll make volumes available for online purchase soon. credit where credit is due: this was inspired by the huge number of made-up horoscopes floating around tumblr lately, and angry-poems.
yup, the Libra one is pretty accurate
The different ways to wake someone up by Lele Pons
social media is destroying our planet! no one talks to each other. people’s mouths are shrinking and vanishing. yesterday i sent a text message and a nearby tree fell over and instantly died. a sinkhole opened up because of all the time we wasted on youtube
Octopuses are going to kill us all someday
I had a biology teacher that told us this story about an octopus at an aquarium in Australia. The staff were concerned because their population of crustaceans kept disappearing. No bodies or anything. So they checked the video feed to find out what’s up.
Across from the the crustacean tank was a small octopus tank. This little fucker squeezed out of a tiny hole at the top of his tank, walk across the hall, and get into the crustacean tank. He would then hunt and eat. After he was done, he crawled back out and get back in his tank
Here’s the kicker: security guards patrolled the area. The staff realized that the octopus had memorized the security’s routine. It would escape and be back between the guards’ round.
An octopus in Germany was annoyed by a bright light shining into his tank, so he climbed up over the rim and squirted water at it to short it.
Fuckin’ octopuses, man.
yeah sure wish we had a key